"How do we persuade a woman not to have an abortion? As always, we must persuade her with love." - BLESSED TERESA OF CALCUTTA

Bullying/ Teen Suicide

En Español

You Matter:1STPLACE

“I am worthless! No one likes me…I don’t matter!”  These are the words that my beautiful 12-year-old sister said to me with tears running down her face, after being bullied at school.  As an older sister, I looked at her with sympathy and shock. I asked why she felt this way and she explained how it was the “in thing to do, to not like her.”  She stated people made fun of her daily and ignored her in group conversations.  I hugged my sister and explained to her that at this age teenagers could be insensitive and said a prayer with her for strength. However, later that month, my sister came back to me and stated two of her classmates came to her and confided in her about the same feelings. All three of these youth were age 12 or 13 and in Catholic school.

This lead me to question how many more children across the country are dealing with bullying and feelings of low self worth and coincidentally suicide? Are our youth maturing on the outside, but suffering on the inside? How might we go about not only helping heal the wounds, but building them up as well in the spirit of Christ? The bible says, “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.” (Psalm 34:18, 19). My sister is only one example, but in hearing her classmates echo the same feelings, she was able to find solace in not being alone. I believe this can be the first step. They are not alone and we the sisters, siblings, parents and Church are with them.

 

Chyva Clarke
About the Author
Chyva Clarke is a Fordham University graduate student in the Master's program of Religious Education: Young Adult and Youth Ministry with a background in counseling and a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology and Theology from Fordham. She has six brothers and one sister whom she loves and works closely with to stay current on youth issues. She is the Campus Minister for Hofstra University and plans to continue her career in religious education.
  1. Johne493 Reply

    Hello. excellent job. I did not expect this. This is a great story. Thanks!

  2. Johnd951 Reply

    As soon as I detected this site I went on reddit to share some of the love with them.

  3. Maisha Reply

    The world is so full of hatred. It’s sad when children have to deal with not being liked. As adults we are not setting examples when we judge and say who’s not attractive in our eyes. Especially, when we say someone is ugly. Who are we to say such harsh words to anyone. We are all beautiful in someone eyes. Bullying comes from anger within and wanting to be liked or get attention. We must remember not to give ugliest control.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Maisha,
      Thank you for taking the time to address this issue. You are right, parents play a big role in how our children see the world. Parents help shape how children see others. In creating a home with God’s love, parents can give children the foundation to love and treat everyone as their equal. Please stay tuned for upcoming blogs.

  4. Carolina Reply

    It is really sad!
    it is good that bullied children have access to counseling though church, adults and probably other teenager who have similar experience and have found help to get over this kind of situation. I also believe that by helping the bullies and their families this can be eliminated. people can not give what they don’t have. and if these teenagers have no one in their family to show them compassion and acceptance they will grow up to be abusive and sad adults

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Carolina,
      Thank you for your thoughts and comment. As you stated, this issue is one that requires counsel to the youth. Counsel is not only crucial for those who are being bullied, but those that bully children too! Children can be taught a better way and shown how they are affecting their peers. It is with awareness we can approach and hopefully change this issue.

      • Rocky Reply

        Your honesty is like a beacon

  5. Danica Reply

    Every young person should have a safe place to talk to an adult. Thank you for creating this platform for teens who may not know an adult they are comfortable with. Contemplations of suicide are in the thoughts of many teens because they dont feel loved. if a teen is reading this, I love you and more importantly Jesus loves you! He will never ever leave you!

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Danica,
      Thank you for taking the time to comment on such a important issue. Your support is not only appreciated by me, but many others that feel alone and unloved. I hope with awareness and God’s love, we can move others to care about their fellow man and reach those that feel alone. Please stay tuned for more blogs.

      • Kethan Reply

        A FACT you’ve covered all the bases with this answer!

  6. Joneile Reply

    You’re right on the money. The first step to healing is finding and speaking to others who have experienced the same feelings as you do. Take it from someone who’s struggled with depression.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Joneile,
      Thank you for giving feedback to this critical issue. Struggling with depression, anxiety etc., are all problems youth may struggle to deal with growing up. It is our job as adults to help them and get them the right care. I hope you are doing well and can use your story to help others.

  7. Angela Reply

    I am glad to see that this author is addressing a major problem that our teens are having . I can only hope that with people like you can counsel some of these teens and save them from being suicidal.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Angela,
      I appreciate your comment to this crucial issue. With awareness comes hope! Any of us can be a listening ear to those who need it. Please stay tuned to future blogs.

    • Ellie Reply

      Ho ho, who would thunk it, right?

  8. Shay Reply

    To be honest it is really sad that there are kids going through this at a young age, but what is even more sad is the fact that not everyone can speak to their family members or they keep it to themselves and when it is to late we wish that family wish they were more involved. I think that some kids may not know about the help that is out there but glad it’s starting on this blog as well as other places. As a child there is so much you deal with; peer pressure, bullying, and on top of that your are still developing and learning. I say it maybe hard and you may feel alone at times, but the best decision you can make is talk to family members, or reach out to someone you know and trust for help. There is always someone who is willing to help. Never forget that God is always there for you through the hard times and good. I love your blog so far and I’m looking forward to more.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Shay,
      I appreciate your thoughtful post and hope that my blog can be the start of fruitful conversation to help with this issue. As you stated, children may feel alone at time and find it hard to reach out for help. However, if we the sisters, parents and school staff bring awareness to the issue; we may be able to ease the fear and isolation one might feel going through a similar issue. Please stay tuned for upcoming blogs.

  9. Paul G. Reply

    I think it’s a good thing that you are bringing this up to the light. There are many kids that need this help.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Paul G.,
      Thank you for taking the time to comment. I hope the future topics will resonant with you as well.

    • Gracyn Reply

      Wow! That’s a really neat news!

  10. Eileen Reply

    Being a parent of four children both girls and boys it is good to see someone bring awareness to a topic that is soooo common,but often kept hidden by not only the victim but, also staff of the facilities it is happening in. Teachers, principals and even some parents brush the idea off of a child or their child being bullied either because it is too much to deal with or sheer embarrassment..Being bullied can not only have a a damaging long lasting impact on the victim but can also be deadly if not addressed. Thank you for Boldly calling attention to this topic.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Eileen,
      I appreciate your comment and input as a mother of four. As you stated this topic is hidden at times and deserves awareness. Our children, teachers and parents must work together to offer healing to our children and to try to prevent it from happening. God is love and we should all conduct ourselves with this in mind.

  11. Ricardo B. Reply

    I went through this as a kid and I dealt with it in anger when I didnt need too. I hope that my future children dont have to go through this.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Ricardo B.,
      Thank you for your comment. As a young child, we sometimes get stuck in our emotions without realization of what can help the situation get better. I pray that you have found healing from this. I also pray your children can avoid this type of suffering in the future as well.

      • Makailah Reply

        Thta’s the best answer of all time!

  12. KAYLA Reply

    As a teenager, I can definitely relate to this situation. I appreciate you talking about this and letting others know what we face.

    • Chyva Clarke
      Chyva Clarke Reply

      Kayla,
      Thank you for replying to this blog. I appreciate you taking the time as a young girl to echo what many are facing in today’s generation. God is love and you are never alone. I hope to speak more to you as my blog continues.

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